Moments
by Austin Jade
Summary: An Angsty Fic About Judai's Feelings After His Return From The Duel Monsters' Dimension. Little More Than Slight AsukaxJudai, But It Isn't The Main Context Of The Story. OneShot.


All right, so I'm taking a short break from Bil and my main fanfic (actually, it's to keep my skills frosty whilst I plan for my story) to write a Song-fic (Well…it starts out with a monologue, but then gets into the fic). It's got hints of JudaixAsuka (some may even go to say it's farther than that, but we'll see. Wouldn't despair me, anyways. Would make me only happy). It's after Judai and co. have returned once again from the Digital World (actually, their Dimensional World, I just am used to that only happening in Digimon). I know, the person who changes Judai's mind would probably never help, but just bear with it, ok (I wonder if you can figure out the man? His description is part of the song, for a hint. You get a cookie if you are right XD)? So, here's my fic to the song by Emerson Drive, known only as 'Moments'. Hope you like.

Austin Jade

P.S. I Own Neither Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Nor Emerson Drive and their songs and such.

P.P.S. This Is In Judai's POV, Till The End.

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I remember it like it was just yesterday. It was a cold, stormy night; so bad that only a fool would be out on a night like that night.

I was that fool. I had said I needed to use the john. Of course, being Osiris Red with no indoor plumbing, there were no objections, not that they cared any longer about what I did. For an explanation to the school and my parents, I left on the desk in the room I was allowed to sleep in with Manjoume and Kenzan a note describing that I had left and was never to return. On that long, dark, lonely road, there was no one around. It appeared as if everyone had heard my story; the story of how I had let my friends down…hurt them…betrayed them.

I was not one to be trusted anymore. Hero? HAH! I heard the rumors and the stories. Everything I had done was all done for my sake. It was only done because I wanted to look good in everyone's eye, to make friends. The cocky, loudmouthed, kind-hearted, incredibly dense dueling star was only hoping that everyone would like him, because of his constantly preoccupied parents and because he was a freak; every time someone became close with me, they were hurt in one way or another. No one ever wanted to even look at me, let alone talk and get to know me.

True, I was incredibly lonely before I went to the Academia, but I never felt as distanced from society as I am now. I was sick; sick in body, mind, and soul.

It seemed that even the weather had taken on my morose personality. I clutched my red jacket closer to my body at the howling gust of wind chilled me, but soon let go, though the wind persisted. I probably had deserved it. Despite the fact that all I wanted was to help Johan back into Our World, I ended up severing the friendships I already had. Who could blame them? All I did was neglect them. Looking back, even when I was helping them, they were only hurt by my decisions.

Saiou. He only wanted to get to me, but because I ran away over the simple fact I couldn't duel anymore, instead of sticking close to those who wanted to help me, he ended up preying on half the school and their deepest darkest fears.

Cobra. He wanted my Duel Energy, but in the process, drained most of the students of their strength. Then, my duel with him forced the split of our beloved school into the Duel Monsters' World the first time. Then, Martin was possessed and began to transform all but a few of our company into Duel Zombies.

Yubel. The one who cause our second trip in the first place. I couldn't do it. Even with the help of Neos and the Neo-Spacians, I didn't have the strength to defeat her and the Sangenma on my own. It took all of my strength just to survive. Therefore, Johan came to help. His Rainbow Dragon saved the day, there's no doubt about that, but it was a result of my insufficient skill that he didn't return to the Human World. What good is it being called a hero if I can't even protect my closest friends!?

Bronn and his minions. First it was Zure, infesting my friends with his Emotional Balls…but then, it was I who made them that way. All I have to do is remember that Manjoume was angry about my decision-making before the ball was originally implanted. Their feelings my have been amplified, but they were there, even if they were well concealed. It was all a plan by Bronn, however. He wanted to activate a card known as Super Fusion, and planned on using my friends and I as a sacrifice. I…once again…couldn't stop the enemy. Bronn was able to force me to sacrifice Manjoume…Asuka…Kenzan…Fubuki-san. All gone because of my weakness; because of my inability to deliver when it counted, with the 'chips on the table' if you will. The look…I'll never forget it. I still see it in my nightmares. The look Sho gave me, when he told me that I always gave strength to everyone around me, the strength to go on, the will to survive. He told me that I always made the impossible, possible. Then, he opened up how he really felt, saying that I thought everything was ok as long as I was all right. I will never, ever, forget those words.

And, finally, Haou. He possessed me to gain control of the Super Fusion Magic Card…No…that isn't true. He may have taken over my body, but the decision to allow him to do so was mine and mine alone. I could have stopped him. I could have refused his help, and yet, I gave in. I knew he was dueling Jim 'Crocodile' Cook. I could have fought harder for control. I could have tried to regain my senses, but all I wanted to do was 'Fight evil with evil', as if that made any sense.

So, I released my death-grip on my jacket, the only think keeping me warm. I was so lost and alone that there was no way it would help anymore anyways. I wouldn't need it where I was going, besides. I let the bone-chilling gusts consume me, deepening my despair. They say that 'hell' is the one place you never want to go to, as it is known only for an eternity of pain, suffering, and torment. But right then, I was feeling, any place was better than the living hell I was wallowing in.

I soon began to approach my destination: an endless, desolate bridge. I turned around and took one last look at the towering Academia behind me, before taking my last steps onto the bridge to cross it. I started to wonder, did anyone who was marching onto their execution back in Ancient Times get the sense of dread I had overshadowing me? My dread instantly subsided, however, as I realized, no one was going to miss me. If anything, it would only help them. I hurt everyone I cared for, though I was truly and deeply sorry for it, there was no way I'd ever be, nor should be, forgiven. Hell, I couldn't even forgive myself for my actions. They are all back safely, because I had defeated the Haou-controlled Johan, but that was no excuse that they were sacrificed in the first place. Johan. O'Brien. Sho. Manjoume. Jim. Kenzan. Fubuki-san. And most of all…her.

The one I cared about the most. She was the one who I always strove to impress. She was the one when I felt like giving up, would encourage me to go on. She was the one I would give everything for and then some just to be next to. Whenever she was around, I felt comfortable. Asuka Tenjoin.

But none of that matters now. They don't deserve anyone who would be willing to discard them so carelessly. They will probably be sitting around in a few days' time and forget I was ever there. That would be for the best, my existence completely forgotten. There is no need to ever remember I was a part of their group.

At this time, I heard the ruffling of a cloth, like a cloak, in the wind behind me. I disregarded it, however. It was probably just the wind against the bushes. I was almost a quarter of the way there. After a few more freezing, endless minutes, I was in the middle of the bridge. Good. There is no way I would ever be found. The fewer people who remembered I ever lived, the better. Nobody would be hurt any more.

I placed my right foot up upon the slippery railing overlooking the rapids and rocks below. I again heard a cloak in the wind. I didn't want anyone to be around when I met my end, so I turned around and saw a wrinkly man with ghostly-white arms. The cloak looked like a blanket of some sort, but his face was covered leaving him unrecognizable. I couldn't remember who it was, yet the person seemed awfully familiar.

He looked homeless. I wondered how in the hell he had come to arrive at the secluded island in the first place, but it wasn't my concern. Probably was lost at sea or something. It was too late to get him back to school, and it wasn't like I had any intention of returning there alive to begin with. He reached out his hand to me, as if begging for money. I tossed him my wallet, halfheartedly. I had no more use for it.

'was coming to the end of a long long walk 

When a man crawled out of a cardboard box 

Under the E. Street Bridge 

Followed me on to it 

I went out halfway across 

With that homeless shadow tagging along 

So I dug for some change 

Wouldn't need it anyway'

He looked down at the wallet. Then, he raised his head to me. I couldn't see his face, but I saw his eyes. They were distraught and shameful. I didn't understand why. But again, he had his reasons.

'He took it lookin' just a bit ashamed

He said, You know, I haven't always been this way'

He spoke with a hoarse, sad voice, telling me that he wasn't always the way he had been. I gazed at him, listening intently, for reasons even unknown to me, as he told me his story:

'I've had my moments, days in the sun 

Moments I was second to none 

Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do 

Like that plane ride coming home from the war 

That summer my son was born 

And memories like a coat so warm 

A cold wind can't get through 

Lookin' at me now you might not know it 

But I've had my moments'

My body froze in place. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I paid rapt attention as he explained to me a story I had heard once before, about a man, a war, a lost child, and desperation to see loved ones once again.

Once again I looked over the edge down to the rapids and rocks below, the end of the line. I tried to find within me the willingness to do it, to end it. It would be so easy! At least, I kept telling myself that. I had no reason to remain here in this life. It would only cause more suffering for others. Why don't I just finish what I came to do?

Would anyone care that I'm gone? My mother? My father? How about my friends here? Sho? Manjoume? Kenzan? Johan? Asuka? Would she care? I soon found myself remembering times I had with my friends. The laughs and tears; the smiles and frowns; the joys and sorrows. I wished they all could return, that we could just start anew and forget what happened over the last several months. But how could they forget with me around? How could they accept me? It was an impossible proposition.

'I stood there tryin' to find my nerve 

Wondering if a single soul on Earth 

Would care at all 

Miss me when I'm gone'

I looked back and saw that the hidden figure was still around. The look in his eyes told me another feeling had arisen from within him. Familiarity. He knew this position. He was in it himself before, I could immediately sense so. Why was he still here? Couldn't he just let me go in peace?

'That old man just kept hanging around 

Lookin' at me, lookin' down 

I think he recognized 

That look in my eyes'

I didn't know why then and today I still don't have a clue why, but as I stared into his eyes, I soon felt myself become ashamed of my predicament. Not at my actions that led me to the middle of this bridge, but the fact that I **WAS** here, if that makes any sense.

I soon felt an urge rise within me, an urge to explain myself and my story to this man who watched me. No…this man represented the world. The world was now watching me as I desperately tried to make a move to jump the bridge to the depths of the water. I felt that they needed a reason now as to why I was going to do this.

'Standing with him there I felt ashamed 

I said, You know, I haven't always felt this way'

And so, as the sickness in my heart and soul poured from my eyes, I let the world know:

'I've had my moments, days in the sun 

Moments I was second to none 

Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do 

Like the day I walked away from the wine 

For a woman who became my wife 

And a love that, when it was right, 

Could always see me through 

Lookin' at me now you might not know it 

But I've had my moments'

I had my eyes closed the entire time. As I rinsed out my pain that had festered within me since I regained my mind from Haou while in the Duel Monsters World, I heard a shout for someone. I opened my eyes, not believing that anyone would be looking for me. But, then the voice rang out again, this time with a discernible 'Judai!' emanating from a female's voice.

I turned my head from the edge of the bridge and noticed the man had disappeared. I saw a light at the edge of the bridge and once again heard my name being called out, this time by numerous people, yet hers was still the loudest of them all. They saw my body facing the side of the bridge with my foot upon the railing. The ran as fast as their legs could carry them. Asuka reached me first and immediately wrapped her arms around me, taking me to the ground with her.

"Asuka!?" I gasped violently as she choked me. I thought she was going to be mad at me, but with her face buried into my chest, I could feel as she sobbed deeply. She had been crying!

"Asuka…?" I gently questioned.

"Judai…please, don't go…don't go through with it…" I was able to perceive among her rapid, powerful gasps and her tears.

My tears began to pour again. I realized, I was about to make the same mistake again. My decision was going to hurt my friends again…and this time I wasn't going to be able to fix it.

I watched as the others came upon me, viciously questioning and reprimanding me at how stupid I was. Once they had calmed down, I asked, "How did you guys find me?"

Asuka, who hadn't picked her head up once from my chest, nor scolded me, simply said, "Your note…"

"What?" I asked again.

Fubuki-san stepped forward to elaborate, "Kenzan went back into your room to get his cards, as he was about to share a pickup duel with Sho. He noticed that you weren't walking in the direction of the outhouse. He opened the door to your room, and saw the desk lamp was on, where he found your letter stating that there was no way you could forgive yourself, nor that we would forgive you, and that you were off to end your life. We realized from Kenzan's directions that you must have been heading for this bridge. We grabbed some flashlights and left as soon as Kenzan told us."

"ARE YOU THAT STUPID!?" Manjoume shouted.

"Aniki, you should know that friends always forgive each other, no matter what," Sho stated.

"And before you ask whether we do or not…" Kenzan began.

"We Forgive You!" they all shouted in unison.

"You guys…" Was all I could mutter out of my mouth. I saw Asuka still glancing up at me and hugging me even tighter, as if I would leave if she let go. I wrapped my arms around her with a tight hug of my own, sobbing into her shoulder. "Thank you…Thank you so very much…"

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Judai stared into the stunned silence of the crowd of partiers at his wedding reception as they heard his talk. He gulped down a lump in his throat as he tried to find the words to finish his story. His voice had wavered over the last several moments. He regained his composure and continued:

'I know somewhere 'round a trashcan fire tonight 

That old man tells his story one more time 

He says

I've had my moments, days in the sun 

Moments I was second to none 

Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do 

Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge 

When a young man almost ended it 

I was right there, wasn't scared a bit 

And I helped to pull him through 

Lookin' at me now you might not know it 

Oh, lookin' at me now you might not know it 

But I've had my moments'

As Tenjoin Asuka, his bride, kissed him deeply and the crowd applauded at the man's change of heart and realization of his friendships, a blanketed man watched from outside on the balcony with his son. He lifted off the hood to reveal the pointed hairdo of an old teacher of Judai's. He looked down at his son and smiled. His son smiled back at the middle-aged man. The middle-aged man then turned his attention back to Judai, "Indeed, I've had my moments, Judai-kun." And with that, he and his son disappeared in a gust of wind into the sky of the starry night.

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Wow…Just…Wow. I don't think I've ever been so happy with a story of mine before. I hope you liked it to. So now, I demand that you reply to this story…Please? Pretty please? Even criticism is welcomed, so I can grow as a writer. I also believe you should try to listen to this song. Yes, I know it's country and most of you reading probably dislike it, at the very least (I know I don't, but, meh…) but really, I think the song playing puts it in the mood so much more so than just reading the lyrics. Hope you liked it, and thanks for reading!


End file.
